He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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