so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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