Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
