I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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