did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
should my penis look like a turkey
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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