Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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