We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Randomize
