No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
