Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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