the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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