Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
