thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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