last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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