just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
the liver wants what the liver wants
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Randomize
