lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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