angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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