I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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