they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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