TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Randomize
