is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
