i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
