the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
