Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Randomize
