i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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