Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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