I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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