So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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