I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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