She announced her abortion via fbk
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
