Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
We just shotgunned beers for America
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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