I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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