never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
