At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I FOUND THE LEGS
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
i out mim tonsoeep
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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