he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
