Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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