Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
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