At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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