Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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