I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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