So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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