YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
