I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
