Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
