Having a random hookup so left but love u
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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