i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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