i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
