you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
