I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
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