I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
