as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
