i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
