you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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