Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
